


I love you.  I'll hit you.

by Pakacoryi



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mid-Timeskip, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 19:41:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20179651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pakacoryi/pseuds/Pakacoryi
Summary: No real spoilers.Takes place in the middle of the timeskip.Felix gets a chance to visit Sylvain and they both have a somewhat difficult time handling their feelings.  Especially Felix.





	I love you.  I'll hit you.

**Author's Note:**

> This pairing caught me off-guard. I was just minding my own business playing the game and suddenly it's just Jesus Christ they're so perfect. They need more content so I thought I'd give it a shot.  
My first ever one-shot. And third person is not my go to so it was a nice change of pace.

“Do you ever – I don’t know – just wish we could go back?”

“No.” Felix’s response was stark. Definite. Undeniably cold.

“Really? Not at all?” Sylvain cupped his hands to his mouth in an attempt to breathe some feeling back into them.

“Not at all.” Felix turned his head away, tapped his foot against the railing a few times. Sylvain remained undeterred by the touch of annoyance in his voice and the obvious signs of wanting to drop the conversation.

“I do,” he continued. Felix crossed his arms. The cloud of condensation left by his exasperated sigh hung briefly in the air. “Heh, I’m even starting to miss the heat,” he went on as if oblivious to social cues. “I miss how easy it was. I miss the sounds of light conversation. Everything around here is about war. I miss your room being two doors down from mine, I-“

“Stop talking before I have to hit you,” Felix snapped.

“C’mon, I haven’t seen you in months.” Felix’s shoulders visibly tensed as he brought a hand up to rub his forehead.

“You are insufferable, aren’t you?”

Sylvain turned his attention to the landscape before them, trying to let the conversation go. The night sky was glowing grey with the threat of more snow. The thick blanket of white was the only reason their meeting was even possible. The year’s harsh winter had considerably lowered the threat of attack from the Dukedom.

“Not even a little? Not one thing?”

“If you have a death wish so badly, try fulfilling it on the battlefield. I’d prefer not having to make a mess.”

“Alright, alright.” Sylvain held his hands up in surrender. “I’m just saying.” He couldn’t help the smirk that pushed its way through, satisfied with the level of irritation he’d provoked out of Felix.

They returned to standing in silence on the frigid balcony off Sylvain’s room. Watching the dark horizon. A light snow began to fall, the snowflakes so small they could almost go unnoticed.

“I don’t have time to miss things.” Felix’s voice was bitter. Sylvain attempted to stay silent, hoping he’d continue, but after about ten seconds of silence his resolve vanished.

“Care to explain a bit further?”

“Not really.” Felix leaned against the railing, once again turning his focus away from Sylvain. “But for your sake. Sentiment is not a feeling anyone has the luxury to waste their energy on in a time of war. And, truthfully, I’d rather not waste my life on it at any point in time. It’s useless.” He paused and took a deep breath. “But yes. I suppose there are a few things I – that I would’ve liked to have stayed the same.”

There was a note of sadness to his voice that would’ve been missed by all but those closest to him.

“Fair enough.” Sylvain regretted pushing it so far. Any amount of real pain or sadness that Felix displayed made him sick with a need to fix it. But fixing it was almost always next to impossible.

“I hate being on separate battlefields.” Felix spat. “It’s even worse when… You’re gonna get yourself killed without me.” The amount of emotion and unspoken words behind that statement was almost too much for Sylvain to bear.

“Hey, hey, I am more than capable of holding my own in battle.” Sylvain’s attempt at keeping his tone lighthearted was growing difficult.

“I know that. I’m not saying you aren’t-“

“Ooh, was that the elusive Felix compliment? Slightly underhanded, yet still-“

“Shut up! I’m serious!” The glare he shot at Sylvain was enough to blanken his expression, no trace of its former teasing smile remained. “I hate it. Sometimes I can’t even sleep. To know that you could be off somewhere, bleeding to death at the hands of the Imperial Army… And that I wouldn’t even know it. For weeks, possibly months.”

“Woah, woah, hey.” Sylvain took a step towards Felix, hands up. His longing to comfort him so strong he couldn’t stop the motions. He meant to grab his shoulders, knowing it would probably be too far, but still a safer bet than the suffocating embrace that he really wanted to give.

Felix took a half step back before he could make contact.

“Felix.” Sylvain held firm eye contact as he spoke, letting his arms fall back to his sides. “You have to trust me. Believe me, I feel. I feel the same way, but.” Felix was still scowling. He turned away and grasped the railing in front of him, exhaling sharply.

“Listen, I’m sorry,” Sylvain continued, trying to take some of the weight out of the air. “I didn’t mean to bring all that up. Really, I was just hoping to reminisce about the good ol’ days. Y’know, sneaking around the monastery at night. Ditching class to find girls, then when things went wrong, having to hide out in your room till they gave up and left.” He attempted a laugh, but it came out uneasy. “But no, not Felix. Always has to be so serious.”

The twitch at the corner of Felix’s mouth didn’t go unnoticed, and it filled Sylvain with a warmth that even seemed to lessen the bite of the cold night air.

“Why would I want to reminisce about all the girls you’ve been with?”

“Mm, I don’t know.” Sylvain scratched the back of his head absently. “Remember when they even started to catch on that I would hide out in your room and I had to get more creative?”

“Yes. And what a relief it was for me. I could finally sleep well at night.”

“You know you missed me, just admit it.” Sylvain laughed and looked back to the falling snow. “I missed you.”

“Don’t make me hit you.” Sylvain smiled to himself, shaking his head.

The balcony once again fell silent. The snow muffling any sounds that may have disturbed the quiet. The sky had grown even darker, making the warm orange glow from the room behind them more striking.

Sylvain pretended not to notice when Felix stepped closer to him. And again, when he placed his hand on the railing, just close enough to his that he could feel the heat coming off his skin.

He outwardly ignored it. If there was one thing Felix hated, it was having any type of attention called to his shows of affection.

But he couldn’t stop the way his heart sped up, or the satisfied smile that threatened his features. He couldn’t stop the images that played out in his mind, of all the ways he could close all space left between them.

It took every ounce of patience not to react.

“Next time we end up in a battle together,” Felix spoke, his voice quiet but serious. “I know it doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. Promise me that you will find me. I will look for you, but that horse of yours can cover more ground than I can.” His finger twitched just enough to brush against Sylvain’s.

“Of course I will, Felix.” His patience ran out. Not caring if Felix would reject it, he put his hand on top of his, lacing their fingers together and squeezing tightly. Relief washed over him when Felix didn’t pull away. The touch was something he’d been missing, been longing for, so much more than he had even realized. It sent his heart to his throat.

“You’re freezing,” Felix stated, voice level as always. “I thought you liked the cold.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t get cold.”

“You should go inside. The last thing I need is you dying of exposure.”

“You worry too much.” Sylvain lifted their hands to his face and pressed Felix’s palm to his lips. Felix scowled but didn’t pull away. Sylvain held it there and took a deep breath. He smelled like cold but also something soothing and familiar.

“Alright!” Felix snapped and yanked his hand away. “I’m going inside, it’s getting late.”

The warmth of the room was welcoming, though Sylvain knew it wouldn’t last long. The cold had a way of creeping in. Through cracks in windows and under doors. Just enough to keep his room from being truly comfortable.

Sylvain removed his overcoat and crouched in front of the fireplace beside his bed. He held his hands out, the warmth returning was almost painful.

“So, you’re riding out tomorrow morning, right?” He asked over his shoulder. Felix took a small step towards the fire.

“I am.”

“Well it was good to see you. Even if it was only a few hours.” An uncomfortable emotion had formed in the pit of Sylvain’s stomach. An aching combination of panic and longing. He would give anything for Felix’s stay to be longer. And he so desperately wished for Felix to relax and stop skirting around things so he could finally touch him.

“Yes… It was.” Felix paused. “Don’t do anything stupid before we get another chance.”

Reading Felix had always been something Sylvain prided himself on. He could see through his defensive act. Decode the scowls and snide remarks for the real emotion underneath. Their entire relationship had gone largely unspoken. It was just something innately understood between them.

But he didn’t know what to make of that statement. Perhaps it was due to the space growing between them – both literal and figurative. Maybe it was a mixture of being cold and tired, along with the realization that the day he’d been looking forward to for so long was rapidly coming to an end.

“Another chance at what?” He knew putting voice to his insecurity was probably a mistake.

“Were you out in the cold too long?” Felix hissed and crossed the room to stand behind him, a hand on his hip, staring down as if impatiently awaiting him to admit he was being ridiculous.

Sylvain stood and turned to face him, looking down into his eyes as they scowled up at him, usually so unyielding, but there was no mistaking the fear he saw in them. More than he’d ever seen there before. 

It made his heart ache.

He brought his hands up and tentatively placed them on either side of Felix’s face, brushing a few strands of hair away from his eyes as he did so. Felix didn’t pull back, didn’t protest, but the scowl remained firmly in place.

“Felix.” Sylvain spoke softly. “We will be okay. Someday, this war will end. And you-“ Felix shrugged away from him.

“War will end once everyone’s dead. Us included.”

“Well then, Felix.” He grabbed his face again, this time mockingly, squeezing his cheeks together in a manner that put real anger behind the scowl still fixated on him. “We will die. Someday this life will end. And you can finally stop being so cynical all the time.”

Felix grabbed Sylvain’s wrists and pushed himself away, taking a few steps across the room.

“And you will realize that you should’ve taken yours more seriously. Instead of throwing it away so frivolously as you have been.”

“Woah, hey, I’m just messing around.”

“That’s the problem, isn’t it?”

“Felix, calm down.” Sylvain took a step forward, trying to think of a way to defuse the situation, but being too panicked at the fact it had even escalated to begin with.

“I’m fine!” He snapped. “It’s late. I’m going to bed.” He started towards the door.

“No, c’mon. Please just wait!” Felix ignored him and slammed the door.

Sylvain ran his hands back through his hair and groaned. Felix storming out on him was far from how he’d imagined the night ending.

He paced the length of his room until the chill made its way through his clothes. So, he threw himself on his bed, kicked off his boots and roughly pulled a blanket over himself.

Attempting to sleep was useless. His eyes burned with exhaustion, yet they refused to close. As much as he fought thinking of such things, Sylvain couldn’t shake the truth that there was a chance he’d never see Felix again. That their last encounter could very well be a pointless argument. A fight that had only happened because they were both scared. Scared of losing each other, so they pushed the other away just to dance around a real conversation.

It was truly stupid.

Making up his mind, Sylvain threw his blankets off and sat up. He was going to see Felix. He didn’t care how mad he might pretend to be, things weren’t going to end like this.

He walked down the corridors to the guest quarters. Felix had always used the same room for his visits since they were children. The soft glow of the fireplace shown beneath the door. The door that Sylvain found himself frozen outside of, heart beating in his throat, hands shaking slightly.

There was nothing to be nervous about. It was just Felix. So, why was he hesitating?

He put his hand on the doorknob and paused again, taking a steadying breath before slowly opening the door. Having been expecting to see Felix asleep in his bed, he was quite shocked when he found himself face to face with him.

“Oh! You’re awake.” Sylvain smiled self consciously and leaned back against the door till it closed behind him. Felix just stared at him. “I, uh… couldn’t sleep. Mind if I come in?”

“You already closed the door, why ask now?” His voice was stern and annoyed, but all real anger was gone from it. Sylvain’s shoulders relaxed and he let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. “I was actually on my way to see you.”

“Yeah? Well, looks like I beat you to it. I guess our conversation earlier made me miss our school days so much I just had to try and relive the only bit of it I could.” Sylvain stretched his arms above his head as he spoke. His casual demeanor not letting on to the fact that his heart was racing, palms starting sweat, or that he wanted so badly to pull Felix to him and never let go that it was taking an actual effort to hold himself back.

“Yes, because, as I said before, I’ve been sick with longing for those horrendous nights where you’d kick me out of bed and-“

“Woah, woah, woah.” Sylvain put his hands up and took a step towards Felix. “I never kicked you out of your bed. You were the one that always insisted that I take it.”

“Yes, but only to avoid the inevitable complaining that goes along with you being uncomfortable.” He crossed his arms pointedly. “You think I could sleep with all the tossing and turning and the louder than necessary groans of discomfort?”

“Actually, you’re right. I do recall that being your argument each time.” Sylvain laughed. “Besides, it’s not like it mattered. You never lasted long before you came crawling into bed with me anyway.”

“I think your memory is failing to serve you correctly.”

Sylvain took another step closer, closing the space between them save for a few inches. He lifted his hand and slowly traced his fingers down Felix’s side, starting at his ribs, pausing on his hip. When Felix didn’t shy away from the touch, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against the base of his neck, just above his shoulder. He held it for a few seconds, allowing the scent of Felix’s skin to sink in, so that it no longer felt like something nostalgic. So that it felt real, and every part of him knew it.

He moved his mouth further up his neck, intending to kiss a line to his jaw, but it was interrupted. Without warning, Felix wrapped his arms around Sylvain so tightly he was almost thrown off balance.

He took no hesitation in returning the sentiment. One arm firmly around his waist, the other across his back, grasping his shoulder, holding their bodies together so tightly it was hard to breathe.

Sylvain felt a wave of emotion come over him. It burned the corners of his eyes with the threat of tears. Jaw clenched, digging his nails into Felix’s shirt to keep them at bay. It was unjust, how their moments together were so fleeting.

When Felix finally loosened his grip he didn’t step back, but kept his face buried in Sylvain’s neck.

“Can I stay here tonight?” Sylvain asked, knowing doing so was unnecessary, but part of him just wanted to hear Felix say ‘yes’.

“As if you’d leave even if I wanted you too.” He snorted.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Sylvain moved his hands to Felix’s shoulders and pulled him back so he could look him in the eyes. The expression Felix wore was one rarely seen. One with no trace of a scowl or the cold façade he usually presented to the world. It was softer, not overly so, but probably as warm as he was capable of.

It was a look Sylvain liked to believe was solely his.

“Felix. I love you.” Felix rolled his eyes.

“Shut up.” He pulled away and walked to his bed. “I told you I’d hit you if you ever said that again and that promise still holds true.” He sat down and rubbed his hands over his face. “I’m exhausted. Get over here so we can finally get some sleep.”

“Well I don’t know about you, but I don’t know how much sleeping I’ll be doing.” Sylvain yawned and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Let me guess,” Felix pulled the blankets back as Sylvain got onto the bed, “because you don’t wanna miss a second of our time together? But you also left it open to imply more than that, the respectable response is always there for backup in case the crude implication doesn’t go over the way you’d like.”

“You know me so well.” Sylvain laughed.

“What did I tell you about using lines on me?”

“Hey, it’s not really a line if I’m being honest, now is it?”

“Are you trying to force me to kick you out? That’s where you’re headed.” Felix lay down beside Sylvain leaving plenty of space between them.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t help myself sometimes.” Sylvain laughed. “It’s in my nature.”

“Shut up and close your eyes.”

“Ooh Felix, how very forward of you.” His teasing was met with a sharp elbow to the ribs. “Ow! You said it, not me!”

“One of these days, it’ll be my sword.”

“Okay, I’ll stop,” Sylvain laughed. “But only if you move closer.”

“One word,” Felix threatened. “And I’ll be going to your room for the rest of the night.”

“Agreed.” Sylvain smiled, knowing the threat was empty and grabbed Felix’s hips, roughly pulling him closer. He put his face in his neck and took a deep breath.

He’d spent so many nights using this exact scenario to lull himself to sleep. When the loneliness became too much. When he could no longer pretend that he wasn’t terrified. When his room was just too cold, his bed too empty. When their time apart became so great that he had to fight to recall the sound of Felix’s voice.

Focusing on chasing thoughts of war from his head, cursing any intruding reminder that Felix would be leaving him soon, he tried to relax enough to sleep. Pretending this night wasn’t a singular event, he was, at last, able to drift. Just before he fell beyond reach, Felix stirring brought him back.

He felt him shift beside him, as his hand found its way beneath his shirt. Felix’s touch was calloused and rough, like the rest of him, but perfect and intoxicating.

Sylvain hadn’t opened his eyes, his eyelids proved much heavier than expected. A small smile found its way to his lips and his breath grew deeper as Felix’s hand moved up his side and back down again. When it paused on his hip, he felt a sharp squeeze, enough to make sure he didn’t drift off.

He felt Felix shift again, their lips met. It was slower and softer than Sylvain thought himself capable of, given how much he’d been longing for it. He moved his hand to the small of Felix’s back and pushed their hips closer. Then to the side of his face, where he traced his sharp jawline with his thumb and slid his fingers into his hair.

Sylvain tried his hardest to save the moment. To burn it into his memory so that when Felix left he’d have more to hold onto. He tried to feel everything, every part of it. The texture of his hair, the way he tasted, the way he smelled, the way his body felt as it moved against his, the feel of his skin. 

And how when Felix spoke, he didn’t even bother moving back from the kiss. How he felt the words form against his mouth as they were said, barely loud enough to hear.

“I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it! Feedback is always appreciated.  
I have the urge to write more of them but we'll see. Maybe the first I love you, I'll hit you scene.


End file.
